Dismissed
by CaptainLyssa
Summary: Initially a one shot, now multi chapter. A very different TomKat experience putting Chakotay in a difficult position.
1. Anger

Chapter One: Anger.

"Mr. Paris," the Starfleet officer looked down on the blond man fiddling with the engine of an old shuttle. Red at her shoulders, hands on hips, it was obvious she didn't want to be at the Auckland Penal Facility.

"Captain," the young man stated after several seconds careful scrutiny. He couldn't miss the four gold pips at her collar, nor the way she held herself.

"Join me for a walk," she requested. Both knew it to be an order.

Looking around, Tom noted the guards ignoring them. It seemed they had been briefed and he had little choice, especially with the phaser on the Captain's hip. Nodding, he placed the welder carefully in its place, before standing. Taking the time to stretch, he nimbly climbed the ladder to the higher deck, joining his compulsory companion.

Waiting until they were well away from the work area and out of the hearing rang of anyone else, Captain Janeway paused, turning to the man at her side. Analysing his body language and expression gave nothing away. Hands in the at ease position, he assumed the deportment of a consummate Starfleet Officer.

"I have new orders for you," Kathryn Janeway finally spoke, eyeing the blond. He didn't seem impressed by her rank or purpose for this visit.

"I assumed that was the reason for your sudden appearance, Ma'am," Tom responded neutrally.

"I prefer to be addressed as Captain," Kathryn stated with a hard glare.

"Yes, Ma'am," Tom responded, with just enough impudence in his tone to get the woman's back up.

"It seems someone thinks you've been cooling your heals long enough," the Captain frowned, not liking this slightly insolent, overconfident individual. She knew Mr. Thomas Eugene Paris's history, both public and concealed. What's more, Kathryn Janeway had once worked with and been considered his father's protégée. Now, Starfleet were asking her to accept the man into her crew.

Looking around the minimum-security facility, in many ways, this part of New Zealand could be considered a paradise. It was little wonder he'd been sent here, even though a traitor to the Federation. It seemed there was more to this story and Kathryn Janeway was determined to find out just what that was, over the course of their short mission. Something in this sad tale just didn't make sense and it intrigued the young Captain.

"I've been given command of a _Voyager_, part of the new Intrepid class. We're about to ship out to DS9 before attempting to locate a Maquis ship last seen entering the Badlands," Kathryn informed her companion in a clipped tone.

"Why," Tom enquired, a slight ironic smile gracing the corners of his lips, "is this Maquis ship so important."

"My Chief of Security, Lt. Tuvok is onboard," Kathryn offered in a near whisper. "He has failed to report for the last six days."

"And I'm coming along to aid you navigate the Badlands and find this vessel?" Tom asked.

Nodding, Capt. Janeway sighed. "You know the people and territory better than anyone Starfleet's got. Chakotay is in command of _Val Jean_."

"Well," Tom smiled, but the emotion didn't make his eyes, "that will make this mission interesting."

"As far as my crew are concerned, you'll be an observer," Kathryn stated.

"You may need my piloting skills," Tom's expression turned incongruous, "before this mission is over, Captain. I've never seen a Starship that can navigate the plasma storms."

"You haven't seen _Voyager_," Kathryn fired back.

"Time will tell, Ma'am," Tom offered with a soft chuckle, following the woman as she recommenced her stroll towards the Wardens office, posture stiff.

The release of Thomas Eugen Paris from the Penal Facility was accomplished with ease. Wishing to take nothing from his incarceration, Tom quickly replicated a Starfleet uniform and joined Capt. Janeway for the shuttle ride to McKinley Station. Her ship was waiting and ready to begin their high warp journey to DS9. Time, it seemed, was of the essence as far as Starfleet was concerned. They made the month-long journey in a little over nine days, leaving them almost a fortnight behind _Val Jean's_last known position. The information, coming from the Cardassian's was suspect at best.

Tom met and befriended a young Ensign named Harry Kim while exploring the station prior to launching their mission. It seemed many of the newly graduated crew had been shipped from Earth a month previously. The Operations Officer, about to be fleeced by a Frengi called Quark at first provided amusement and memories. Tom wondered if he'd ever been that green and decided he hadn't. His father upbringing saw to that. Sighing, Tom decided to rescue the _in too deep_Ensign. Once onboard _Voyager_, stories of Tom's past circulated but didn't deter Harry Kim. Refreshingly, he asked his question outright, demanding Tom answer them completely and still chose to continue the friendship, even when Paris warned the younger man away.

Much to Lt. Com. Cavitt's displeasure, Capt. Janeway requested Mr. Paris join the Alpha shift on the bridge. Tom couldn't think of anything more boring, seated beside the Captain, keeping his mouth shut and unable to run his hands over the ship's controls. Lt. Stadi proved to be an adequate pilot, navigating the storms at the edge of the Badlands. The trouble started with the displacement wave, killing many of _Voyager's_senior crew and leaving the ship seventy thousand light years from home.

"What," Captain Janeway asked of the observer standing in her ready room, once the Maquis ship had been destroyed and their crew integrated into _Voyager's_, "am I supposed to do with you, Mr. Paris?"

"I guess," Tom smirked, "returning me to the Penal Facility is out of the question."

Allowing her eyebrow to rise formed Kathryn's only answer.

Cocking his head to one side, Tom returned the glare with one of his own. It was a battle of wills, and both knew it. The computer chimed, indicating someone else wanted the Captain's attention. However, it did not bring their animosity toward each other to any conclusion.

"Come," Kathryn's tone openly displayed her displeasure.

"I'm sorry to interrupt you, Captain," Chakotay felt the tension in the room. It was thick enough to cut with a knife. Looking between Paris and Janeway, he could see the animosity and wondered at their history. It seemed Tom managed to create havoc wherever he went.

"Mr. Paris, I have asked Mr. Chakotay to become my First Officer," Janeway looked at the Maquis but addressed the Observer.

"Sensible," Tom nodded, keeping his expression neutral. "Are you going to provide a body guard for me, Captain?"

"From me," grey eyes turned glacial, "the Maquis or the Starfleet crew, Mr. Paris."

"All three I should think," Tom managed an ironic smile. "The verbal abuse from the Fleeters, I've mostly ignored the last three weeks. The physical beating from disgruntled Maquis will probably result in several visits to sick bay but will die down quickly once their anger is expunged. Personally, I'm more afraid of you."

"Why is that, Mr. Paris?" Kathryn Janeway finally sighed.

"Perhaps," Chakotay, realising he was in the middle of a very personal disagreement, decided it was time to leave, "I should return to the bridge, Captain. My report can wait."

"I think, as Frist Office, you need to know of the history between Mr. Paris and myself," she stated.

"Our history, Kate," Tom supplied sarcastically, followed by an angry half smirk. "If you'll excuse me, Ma'am, I believe you have ships business with your First Officer. I'm sure you don't want an observer present."

"I haven't dismissed you, Mr. Paris," the Captain stated, her tone hard.

"In case you've forgotten, I'm not Starfleet anymore," Tom spat, his expression becoming hard. "You made sure of that, after Caldik Prime. So, if it's all the same to you, Captain…"

"Don't walk away from me, Lieutenant," Kathryn's gravely tone openly displayed her displeasure as she stood and placed hands on her hips in a typical Janeway manoeuvre. "And don't pretend you ever gave up your commission. I did what any First Officer would do when I found those records and reported the inconsistencies to the Starfleet investigators."

"It was never about your duty, Kate," Tom's eyes became chips of ice. "It was more personal than that."

Chakotay, standing on the side lines comprehend the situation, more than he'd like. Tom Paris's drunken behaviour while serving with the Maquis suddenly made sense with this new information. His need to find a fight, and flying became a coping mechanism when the rest of his life fell apart. Falsifying records was a court marshal offence, but not one that usually lead to dishonourable discharge. Yet, Tom Paris never stated he'd been discharged, but cashiered out of Starfleet.

His eyes glancing between protagonists, Chakotay could finally name the emotion radiating of both of them. Unresolved sexual tension. If he didn't miss his guess, they'd been in a relationship when the Caldik Prime incident occurred and the Captain had been the one to find the evidence of her lovers' culpability. If so, it wouldn't take long for the rest of the crew to uncover this information.

"Am I to understand that Mr. Paris," Chakotay attempted to change the subject, "never resigned nor was discharged from Starfleet?"

"No," they stated in unison. Paris added, snickering, "I was forced to take an indefinite leave of absence, to protect my father's name and Kate's career."

"Serving with the Maquis?" Chakotay asked, afraid he'd find out Paris had been working for Starfleet Intelligence.

"Let's just say," Tom turned his attention to the Frist Officer, "I still had some friends at Starfleet Headquarters. They asked me to do them a little favour."

"But you were caught on your first mission with the Maquis?" Chakotay questioned.

Kathryn jumped in to answer before Tom could open his mouth and give one of his impertinent responses which would further degrade the relationship between the two men. "Deliberately. Starfleet attempted to draw Mr. Paris back into the fold by passing along false information to the Cardassian's. A calculated move that had nothing to do with gathering data on the Maquis."

"That's right," Tom watched the shock cover Chakotay's face, before disappearing just a quickly. "I was a plant, as much as Tuvok. Starfleet though they could use me, then draw me back in because I'd been a good little boy and followed orders by allowing my father and Kate to weather the storm of my misjudgement. When I refused, they charged me with being a traitor to the Federation and locked me up to give me time to rethink my position. Still not enough, they sent the woman I was engaged to marry to haul me out of prison and come on yet another mission designed to drag me back into the fray. So, you see, joining the Maquis and this crew, cost me more than you could ever understand."

With that, Tom stormed out of the Ready Room. Stunned, Chakotay turned to a white-faced Kathryn Janeway. She'd sunk into her seat.

"You were engaged?" he asked.

"Two years," the Captain agreed in a soft tone. "I kept putting our wedding date off. Tom wasn't happy about it. Then, the accident on Caldik Prime occurred."

"You found the evidence that had him convicted?" Chakotay knew the answer but needed to hear it from her lips.

"Yes," she hissed. "I don't think Tom's ever forgiven me. You know, Starfleet never mattered to him, only the flying did. That's why he falsified the records. He couldn't stand the idea of being grounded. He's the best dam pilot I've ever known and the reason why I'm reinstating his rank. As Chief Conn Officer, I can finally give him back a little of the self-respect he lost because of me."

"What about your personal relationship?" questioned Chakotay.

"Some things," Kathryn stated miserably, "are unsalvageable, Mr. Chakotay. Dismissed."

"Captain?" Chakotay attempted.

"I said dismissed."

* * *

**AN:** I didn't feel this story was finished, so I'm going to add another two chapters. Hope you enjoy.


	2. Forgivness

Chapter Two: Forgiveness

**AN:**re-reading this story, I didn't feel it was quite finished. I'm adding another two chapters. Hope you like the results.

* * *

Chakotay sat in the chair to the Captain's left, studying the woman at his side. Still uncomfortable returning to the constricting Starfleet uniform, he'd been Voyager's First Officer for all of fifteen days. In that time, he'd seen enough to know Kathryn Janeway earned her pips, the old-fashioned way **_and_**she ran a tight ship. Yet, her eyes strayed to the blond head of their Chief Con Officer more often than they should. Tom's shoulders tensed, as if he knew the Captain's gaze narrowed on him. The situation was impossible and getting more so every day as they politely ignored each other whenever possible.

Thankfully, both Lt. Commander's Cavitt and Fitzgerald could no longer spread rumours about Paris's past. The First and Medical Officer's had done enough to blacken Tom's name on the journey into the Badlands without any real understanding of his character or the reasons for his fall from grace. If they'd survived the initial displacement wave, Chakotay knew the previous relationship between the Captain and Helmsman would have become public acknowledge and made their positions completely untenable. As it was, many noticed the tension between the pair and assigned a completely different motivation to it. They were calling Tom Paris the Captain's reclamation project.

"Not far from the truth," the Frist Officer muttered under his breath. It earned the Captain's attention, then annoyance.

"You have something to say, Mr. Chakotay," Kathryn demanded.

"Yes," he offered in a soft tone, still unsure about this fiercely protective woman. A fortnight wasn't time enough to more than scratch the surface of her complexed personality. Besides, they'd both been on their best behaviour since that incident in her ready room. It placed both senior officers in a most uncomfortable position. "But," Chakotay sighed meaningfully, "nothing you'd care to hear."

"I didn't give you permission to speak freely," the Captain warned, understanding where this conversation tended by the subtle look towards the console before the main view screen.

Leaning in, Chakotay ensured his words wouldn't be overheard by the rest of the bridge crew. "Only because you don't want to hear what I have to say," he hissed. "It's time you and Paris cleared the air. This subtle animosity between you has been noticed by every member of the crew. It's affecting them and making Paris's position on this vessel untenable."

Truly angered, Captain Kathryn Janeway stood abruptly. "My ready room, now, Commander," she ordered.

The deafening silence on the bridge as she stomped to her sanctuary told its own story. Chakotay had been spoiling for this particular fight, and, in truth, Kathryn knew she needed to speak with Tom. While Captain's kept their own company and weren't seen to fraternise with the crew, that didn't mean they were ignorant of the current rumours and speculation running rampant in the corridors. Once again, her past was clashing with the present. It was like Caldick Prime all over again, but with nowhere to run, nowhere to lick her reopened wounds.

"I know you've seen the sickbay report," Chakotay didn't give the Captain time to regroup. Entering the room, he barely let the doors slide closed behind him before starting his attack. "You couldn't have missed the lovely shade of purple gracing Paris's face as he entered sick bay at the time you were questioning Joe Carey about his assault."

Kathryn Janeway used her best command glare to answer her Frist Officer's concerns as she calmly took her seat. They'd been in the Delta quadrant a little over three weeks, more than half that as a single crew. So far, the Captain and Frist Officer had managed to sort out their differences of opinion amicably. Provisional Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres was promoted to Chief Engineer over Lt. Joseph Carey, only because Chakotay hadn't given up the fight for one of his people, even though she'd broken her superiors nose. It seemed Tom Paris was now securely within that number. The Captain even heard the former members of the Maquis complaining about Chakotay protecting the Helmsman.

"So now you're championing Tom's cause?" Kathryn spat. "I thought you'd be the last person on this ship to take sides in this particular dispute."

"Tom?" Chakotay questioned, allowing his tone to make the suggestions his face refused too. "What happened to Mr. Paris? And, yes, someone has too. While I might not like the man personally, I now have a better understanding of why he acted the way he did on my vessel. Like it or not, Captain, Tom Paris needs someone on his side right now and it should be you!"

Intensifying her glare, Kathryn examined her conduct concerning the Chief Con Officer. Not once since renewing their acquaintance in Auckland had she used the helmsman's first name to anyone but Chakotay, and then only when speaking about their tragic past. Sighing as she understood the reason why; long buried hurt and anger caused by Tom's idiotic mistake that damaged more than his career. It ruined the Captain's chance of forming a romantic relationship with another Starfleet Officer after being publicly embarrassed, even if it fast tracked her career. The budding romance with Mark Johnstone, chosen for his safe profession and sedate character was doomed to failure. Kathryn Janeway came to the sudden and blinding realisation that Mr. Thomas Paris had spoiled her for any other man. Like it or not, she still held a special place in her heart for him.

Denial, almost her middle name, allowed Kathryn Janeway to conceal her feelings like the good officer she'd been trained to be. On discovering Lt. Paris's deception, he'd been incarcerated in the brig immediately after she'd taken proof to her Captain. The thought of discussing the evidence with Tom never occurred to Kathryn, even with the relationship they shared. In truth she felt betrayed that her Fiancée could act in such a dishonest and reprehensible way. Hurt and humiliated, then Lt. Comm. Janeway questioned if she knew the man at all.

Engaged or not, she was barred from seeing Tom until the trial ended. The Court Marshall was open and shut, with Lt. Thomas Eugen Paris admitting to his culpability in falsifying documents pertaining to the shuttle accident which killed three crew. He'd worn the demotion to junior grade easily and requested an absence of undetermined leave. By the time Kathryn manage to clear her schedule at Starfleet HQ, Tom had vanished. He hadn't left a note for her or his family. Without closure, Kathryn Janeway accepted the position in command school, changed her science blue for command red and was on her way to an illustrious career. Tom's abandonment locked away in her mind, Kathryn threw herself into work. Only in her darkest moments did she replay those harrowing weeks, always wondering why? Why did the man who professed to love her disappear without a trace? She didn't need to ask why he'd chosen to cover his mistake. That much was obvious.

"Captain?" Chakotay queried. The woman had turned pale and reflective. Never a good outcome in his estimation. He'd watched the changing expressions on her face and decided not to intrude on her personal thoughts.

"I'll take your suggestion under consideration," Kathryn focused her grey eyes on her First Officer. "Chakotay, thank you." Drawing in a long, steading breath, she added, "dismissed."

Smirking, he wasn't quite sure what occurred in the Captain's mind, but it seemed she'd come to some conclusion of her own. "I wouldn't be very good at my job," he used a light, teasing tone as he backed away, "if I didn't call you out on occasion, Captain."

"I believe we're coming to understand one another, Mr. Chakotay," Kathryn allowed the corner of one lip to curl upward. "Just don't do it too often, or I might have to consider Tuvok as your replacement."

"I don't think you'll do that," this time the he openly chuckled. "You require someone to challenge your assumptions, if I'm not mistaken. Your history with Mr. Tuvok means he has far too much respect for you. Besides, out here, in the Delta quadrant, there are going to be times you need a different perspective."

"A Maquis perspective, perhaps?" she questioned.

"Let's leave it at less Starfleet way of thinking," Chakotay mock saluted as he returned to the bridge.

Left alone, Kathryn Janeway wondered how to approach this situation. In her heart, she realised it was time to forgive Tom for placing her in such an awkward situation almost five years ago. It was also time to start mending bridges with the man if they were to spend the rest of their lives on the same ship. Reaching for one of the never-ending reports on a precariously piled stack of PADD's, the Captain's mind couldn't settle until she found a solution to her current dilemma. Clearly Tom was still _mad as hell_at her, to use one of his archaic terms.

_Or perhaps_, Kathryn found a sudden insight, _he's mad as hell at himself. That one mistake cost him everything, his career, the woman he loved, flying. They say we hurt the people we love the most in the hope they'll just, what is Tom's saying, suck it up. If you stretch that bond beyond its ability to retract, it breaks. Is that what happened to us? We broke under the pressure of serving on the same ship?_

"Janeway to Paris," Kathryn stated in a cool tone after tapping her comm badge. The Captain waited until the Alpha shift were just about to hand over to the oncoming Beta before putting her plan into action.

"Go ahead," Tom's tone sounded both shocked and curious.

"Please met me in Holodeck one. Janeway out."

Seated in the First Officer's position, science blue at her shoulder, Lt. Commander Kathryn Janeway looked to be in control of _Exeter_, much as she had been five years previously. No other crew graced the stations scattered around the Ambassador Class vessel's bridge. The heavy class cruiser, with a compliment of fighter craft was on route to Caldik Prime to participate in war games. As a full Lieutenant, Tom Paris was one of _Exeter's_squadron leaders and tactical mastermind. After a wait that seemed indefinable, the arch chimed to announce her quarry.

"Lt. Paris," Kathryn offered the chair to her right by leaning over and patting it. The soft look in her grey eyes requested he play along with her scenario. The computer had even changed his black pip for gold.

Looking around wildly, Tom took in every detail. Emotions he'd tried to forget caused a maelstrom of hurt, anger, despair and humiliation. Swallowing hard, he followed orders, even if his face turned pale and his azure eyes asked why?

"Simulations Starfleet standard," he tried for an indifferent, detached tone when it seemed the woman at his side refused to say more.

The very idea of being on this virtual bridge caused beads of sweat to form on his brow. This environment reminded Paris of everything he'd lost, through his own stupidity. After it was all over, he couldn't face Kate, so he'd taken the cowards way out and just left. He'd never wanted her life or career marred by his stupidity.

"I've been running," Tom confessed in a soft, broken voice.

Somehow, returning to the scene of his crime at this point in his life became cathartic. As the years passed, Thomas Paris found it harder and harder to live with the deaths of three crewmates on his conscious. They would visit him at night, demanding a reason, not for their demise, but why he'd tried to cover up his culpability.

What Lt. Paris learnt in the last few weeks, trapped a life time away from home, was you couldn't run far enough. Healing was a journey, commencing with self-reflection and forgiveness. He'd been through denial and isolation in those first few months, feeling alone and abandoned. By the time Tom joined the Maquis, he'd bargained his soul and self-respect for the chance to fly. The anger and depression came next. Flying was not enough, so booze and a warm body became his vice. Paris loathed himself as his heals cool in Auckland. Finally, offered respect and the career he'd always wanted, Lt. Tom Paris was learning to accept what had occurred and move on with his life.

"What," Kathryn asked soothingly, reaching out to lay a hand on his forearm, "would you have done different, Tom?"

"Told you the truth, before filing my report," Paris answered without hesitation. How many nights had he lain awake, trying to answer that question? "I've thought about little else over the last few years. You would have found a way to present the facts without Starfleet taking away my ability to fly."

"I've considered every reason you didn't," Kathryn signed.

A melancholy smile covered Tom's face. "I considered it too, Kate. You have no idea how hard it was, submitting that report. In the end, you've always been Starfleet. Hell," standing, Paris paced the bridge, "even my father knew it. You lived up to all his expectations. And," turning, his blue eyes piercing those of the woman attempting to understand, "no matter how hard you fought for me, Starfleet would have taken away the things I loved the most. You and flying."

The minutes dragged on as silence surrounded them. Neither seemed to want to shatter the moment, the solidarity between them. Yet, both knew it had to end, a permanent solution had to be found.

"None of this was your fault, Kate," Tom managed, his tone cracking with supressed emotion.

"Yes, it is," the cry came out harsh, her tone gravely. "I've spent the last five years ignoring the situation completely, focusing on my career, burying the hurt and only asking why in my weakest moments. Why? Tom, why? Why did you do it?" Kathryn begged, moisture pooling in the corners of her eyes. Years of supressed emotion could no longer be held back.

"You know, I've asked myself the same question," he confessed, a confused look crossing his face. Shaking his head, Tom once again collapsed into the seat at her side. "I don't know, Kate. Honestly, I have no idea. You know what?" he paused, "I knew you'd be the only one to catch my lie."

"You'd had a successful career with the Naval Patrol. You made Captain within five years. Tom, you had a crew of thirty and a ship of your own," Kathryn pleaded for something, some small clue that would help both of the understand.

"It wasn't enough," Tom sighed. "I loved sailing, I still do, but it was always flying and I didn't get to do that in the Naval Patrol."

"I supported your entry into Starfleet," Kathryn stated. "I took every assignment within Earths sphere for four years, stalling my career so we could be near each other."

A sad chuckle issued from Tom Paris. "Hell, Kate, you pushed harder for me than anyone, except maybe my father. He always wanted a son to follow in his footsteps. He could see three Admiral Paris's in the future."

"I would never have given up my name, Tom, you knew that," Kathryn recalled those discussions. It was part of the reason for constantly bickering about a wedding date. Thomas Paris was an old-fashioned guy, who wanted his wife to take his name. Lt. Commander Janeway insisted on creating her own reputation, based on her achievements.

"My father didn't," Paris smirked, before the expression turned into a frown. "Do you realise this is the most we've said to each other in five years."

_That's not my fault_, Kathryn though, but knew it would inflame the situation. "I'm hoping now that we've started, it won't stop. I've missed you, Tom."

"I know and I'm sorry, for a lot of things. It couldn't have been easy on you, going back to _Exeter_after the Court Marshall," he stated mournfully.

"It wasn't," Kathryn sighed. "I suspect you know I wasn't there very long. And," Kathryn stood, returning to the Captain, "our time on the holodeck is up Mr. Paris."

"So, it's back to Mr. Paris," Tom shook his head sorrowfully. "I was hoping we could at least get back to being friends."


End file.
